There's usually a scrapbook Our home is starting to look like a serial killer lives here And the next target of his or her fixation is me. This makes me uncomfortable, to say the least. Over-documentation is the earmark of an obsession taken too far, One that can only end very, very badly. Jan 11, Nancy rated it really liked it. Suzanne Weber provides a snarky voice to the baby who can't communicate except through shrieks and grunts.
Humorously, the baby waxes poetic on the amount of money her mother and father are spending on strollers, car seats, carriers, and nursery items. She laments how much she doesn't care about any of it. All she wants is a heated bum wipe. My personal favorite is "Where Are My Hands? They were clever and snarky. One word of warning, however. There are A Suzanne Weber provides a snarky voice to the baby who can't communicate except through shrieks and grunts.
It was somewhat distracting. The frustration is evident without all the cussing.
The point is that babies have much to communicate and want to articulate frustration of their miserable wretches called "Mothers. May 14, Robert rated it really liked it Recommends it for: Future Parents of Bitter Bambinos. This was required out loud bedtime reading for my wife and I as we were expecting our first baby, and one that provoked many a laugh and a smile as we drifted off to sleep.
The language employed is a little salty, and the cultural references are all This was required out loud bedtime reading for my wife and I as we were expecting our first baby, and one that provoked many a laugh and a smile as we drifted off to sleep. The language employed is a little salty, and the cultural references are all decidedly North American, but apart from that I can't why any prospective or current parent wouldn't get a guffaw out of this slender volume. Aug 11, Leah rated it did not like it Shelves: This little tome started out being fun and somewhat hilarious.
Poems about babies suddenly wondering where their hands went as they're swaddled and deciding they'll just go to sleep because there's nothing else to do are great. The poems are silly and entertaining Rather strident messages become apparent. The author seems to believe that mothers are inherently better than fathers, and that vaccines are bad and to give your child one means you have a "red-st This little tome started out being fun and somewhat hilarious. The author seems to believe that mothers are inherently better than fathers, and that vaccines are bad and to give your child one means you have a "red-state" attitude.
Started to get a bit too strange and disturbing. Don't even get me started on faking it when it comes to burping. Oct 05, Christina rated it it was amazing Shelves: I love this book and am so happy my mommy recommended it to me. To heck with "what to expect, the first year" or any other parenting books. This would be the book that I would hand a new mother - because sometimes you just really need a dose of humor. I swear I could hear my daughter in these poems. This is a must-read for all parents, especially parents of babies and toddlers!
May 03, Rosanna Leo rated it it was amazing. I love this book! As a mom, I related in a way that was almost painful. And if you just appreciate good humor period, you need to read this book. The vengeful tone puts one in mind of Stewie from Family Guy.
- Ignorance Is Bliss?
- The Holy City: Part I. Contemplation, No. 2, No Shadows Yonder.
- About the author.
It is absolutely brilliant. Apr 26, Tracymarksseglin rated it it was amazing. Laughed uproariously all by myself. Read the whole dang thing. THE perfect mom's day gift or new mom gift, but only for the right someone irreverent sense of humor and delight in the "f" word.
To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?: Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers
Jan 07, Leah Coffin rated it really liked it. I smiled and sometimes chuckled at most of these poems. Then I read "iConfess" and screamed with laughter. May 22, Katie rated it it was amazing.
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I can just imagine my twins saying all of these things. Of course, I wouldn't have understood the majority of it before becoming a mom. Apr 30, Lindsey rated it it was amazing Shelves: Current lifestyle trends are incorporated, too: What to Expect the First Year: Some things about babies, happily, will never change. They still arrive warm, cuddly, soft, and smelling impossibly sweet. But how moms and dads care for their brand-new bundles of baby joy has changed—and now, so has the new-baby bible.
Announcing the completely revised third edition of What to Expect the First Year. Keeping the trademark month-by-month format that allows parents to take the potentially overwhelming first year one step at a time, First Year is easier-to-read, faster-to-flip-through, and new-family-friendlier than ever—packed with even more practical tips, realistic advice, and relatable, accessible information than before.
Illustrations are new, too. Baby care fundamentals—crib and sleep safety, feeding, vitamin supplements—are revised to reflect the most recent guidelines. Breastfeeding gets more coverage, too, from getting started to keeping it going. Hot-button topics and trends are tackled: Throughout, topics are organized more intuitively than ever, for the best user experience possible.
Let's Pretend This Never Happened. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it.
- In the Garden of Deceit (The Garden Series Book 4).
- Dinner is Served.
- Pon De Replay.
- To What Miserable Wretches Have I Been Born?: Revenge Poetry for Babies and Toddlers?
- Restless: Because You Were Made for More.
Cutler The September Issue. A native New Yorker, Weber currently resides in Los Angeles where she writes television pilots and has started taking her coffee with soy milk.
Account Options Sign in. How do you breed contempt? Let me say, first off, that I love you. You do a lot of things right. I know how devoted you are to me and how invested you are in hitting this whole parenting thing out of the playground. I feel more than I can express. I have more going on in my soft, little baby brain than you could possibly imagine. From my point of view. Flowing text, Original pages. Web, Tablet, Phone, eReader. It syncs automatically with your account and allows you to read online or offline wherever you are.
Please follow the detailed Help center instructions to transfer the files to supported eReaders. What to Expect When You're Expecting: